Married to a Midwife

A Husbands Thoughts on National Midwife Week

 

Jaelin Stickels

Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP-BC, APRN, President & Co-Founder www.SHEis.com

 

So, people ask me all the time “how do you do it”?  By that they mean, how do I cope with being married to a midwife and all the craziness that goes along with that.  Well, for the most part it is easy, my wife and I are a partnership and this is just my role on the team.  For some context here is a little back story on us and how we got here.

 

Jaelin and I were married 33 years ago; we had been high school sweethearts and after dating for 4 years marriage just seemed like the natural next step.  Even though we were only 20 years old we were confident in our relationship so we jumped in with both feet.  Fast forward 4 years and we started having children (3 in all).  I decided that now that I was a daddy, I needed to stop playing house and get a real career to support my growing family.  So, I went back to college, and Jaelin supported us by working as a waitress to put me through school.  I don’t remember anyone asking her “how do you it” regarding being married to a full-time student.  After graduating, I got a job working for a large overseas corporation that required quite a bit of travel.  Again, nobody said to her, “how do you do it” regarding being married to someone who travelled as much as I did.  At one point we even moved our entire family to New Zealand for 2 years.  After several years and several promotions, I was truly climbing the corporate ladder and everything that entailed (long hours, extensive travel, high stress…) again, nobody asked her “how do you do it”.  That brings us to today, I now am able to work from home and be my own boss and Jaelin is still standing by my side.  Now I ask myself the question “how did she do it…”.

 

Being a midwife is so much more to my wife than a simple job or even a career.  It is a calling, a passion in her more intense than anything I have ever experienced.  When you see her with her clients, she is so alive and full of joy.  I have talked to many of her clients and they all tell me that they feel how much she loves doing this and how loved they feel by her.  I can tell you from the hours and hours of conversations I have had with her, she loves each one of them.  As a matter of fact, we have a running joke at our house; whenever she comes home from a birth I ask her “were they just the cutest couple?”  Because, she feels that way about each and every one of them.  She feels truly blessed to be allowed to participate in this momentous part of their life.

 

But I know what people mean when they ask, “how do you do it?”.  There can be challenges to being the husband of a midwife; the late night phone calls, the strange on-call hours, the long labors (sometimes days), the obsessive behavior (she is never able to shut it off), the constant stream of text message (even on “off” days), the birth stories and problem stories and weird stories, oh and let’s not forget my favorite the gross stories…  I have laughed with her and I have held her when she cried.

Here is what I know as fact.  My wife was meant to do this.  I was meant to support her.  What I did during my career was interesting and rewarding, but it is nothing compared to the blessing and calling from God that my wife experiences every day.  She feels blessed to be part of her client’s journey and I feel blessed to be at a stage in my life where I can be a supportive part of her journey.

 

So, when I am asked by people “how do you do it”; regarding being married to a midwife, my response is “how could I not”.

 

Thank you for the wild ride Jaelin and Happy National Midwife Week!

 

Ted

 

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