How to Help Kids Manage Anger
Helping my child manage anger is a subject that I have found to be a struggle on a regular basis. My child just gets MAD at so many things, and it makes me worry a lot of the time that it might be my fault. I know from seeing other kids that getting angry is just something that happens. I do my best to remind myself that learning to deal with feelings is just a part of growing up. To these little, clumsy people we call our children a whole lot of the world is likely frustratingly out of their control.
I do my best to let her handle her anger on her own, as long as she isn’t doing anything destructive in the process, and then talk to her about what made her mad when she has cooled off some. Then do my best not to laugh as she tells me that she was “trying to be a helicopter but no matter how much she spins she can’t go up.” Or that “The frog I found wouldn’t listen to anything I told it to do.” Sometimes the things these little people get upset about just seems totally absurd to us. They are real problems for them though. Responding to an angry child by laughing at them or, worse, with your own anger only serves to add to their frustration.
We get through it though. I manage to only laugh at her occasionally, and she is slowly learning how to deal with her anger. Nothing ever just suddenly gets better; you take it one day at a time and do the best you can. Make sure your kid knows you love them, do your best for them, and things are probably going to wind up being alright. Try not to stress yourself out to much over the little problems in the now.
Best of luck out there.
As a school counselor, one of the most frequently asked category of questions I receive centers around ‘ how do I handle my child’s anger?’ The question is almost always spoken by parents in a voice burdened with shame and embarrassment-as if anger in childhood was a bad thing or that any ‘good’ parent would know how to keep their kids perpetually happy.