Kelly Clarkson Makes An Honest Admission About Motherhood And Chasing Her Own Dreams
I’ll be honest. One of my biggest struggles as a mom is that fear that I have to give up my hopes and dreams, or at least the aspirations I had before motherhood, in order to be a good mom to my kids. There is an inner struggle between success as a mom, success as a wife, and following my dreams that causes a lot of emotional confusion in me. Some may blame this on society’s expectations, or upbringing, or outside influences, but honestly this struggle in me isn’t from any of those things. I don’t really care what society says I should do. And my wonderful parents always taught me to just be me. This struggle is more so from my own issues with my own expectations – expecting that I need to be perfect and present for everything, and expecting that my identity as a mom trumps all identities I have inside.
I have always been a dreamer.
Ever since I was little, I always had something new I was dreaming about. First, I wanted to be an opera singer. Then, I wanted to be an astronaut. After that, I wanted to build a biodome and create a public park inside of it. I wanted to live out of a bus and travel the U.S. I wanted to own an art gallery/coffee/tea shop. I wanted (and still want) a farm. This may be part of my problem with chasing my dreams as a mom. I’m not the type of person who has and sticks to a clear direction when it comes to career dreams. I am passionate about a lot of things, which can make it hard to focus in one direction.
The unfortunate part about being a dreamer, though, is many were great for singleness, or pre-kids marriage, but now many just aren’t practical. For a while, I struggled with feeling like I had to give up my dreams once I became a mom because of this. Once I realized that I didn’t have to give up who I am, though, my stress level went down and my spirit went up. I may be a dreamer of impractical dreams at times, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop being creative.
So what dreams do I chase?
This question was the hardest for me to answer for the longest time after my son was born. What do I dream about? What do I chase besides my family? After a come-to-Jesus moment, God in His infinite wisdom whispered to me one night, “chase joy”. Joy? How on earth do you do that? Well, for me, He was telling me to chase the things He has placed in my life that bring me joy. My family brings me joy, and serving them brings me joy, so I chase that. My relationship with Christ brings me not only joy, but peace, so I run towards that. Creativity brings me joy, so I foster and grow my creativity. This job that I have brings me joy, and brings out the things I am passionate about, so I aim to be excellent in that. If I find myself stressing about dreams I used to have, I go into my brain, play it out as realistically as possible, and if I see it isn’t bringing me joy I let it go. So yes, to many who know me, you will be happy to know I have given up my dreams of going survival mode in the woods. I have finally come to realize, realistically, that dream would NOT bring me joy.
The balancing act.
With parenthood comes sacrifice. I do know that as a mom, some dreams will be sacrificed. Not only dreams, but time, and comfort, and privacy, and sleep. There are many things we sacrifice as parents, and I’m OK with that. I know my kids will grow up watching mom and dad be themselves, and they will also learn what sacrificing for those you love means. I may not get to travel the world, but I get to have my family. And I may not get to always do the things that I want to do, but I get to have my children. My love for my husband and children far outweigh my love for my hobbies and dreams. This is what I remind myself of in those times when I can’t have it all. Sometimes you get to be mom, sometimes you get to be dreamer, sometimes you get to have both, and sometimes you don’t. And that’s OK.
I really liked what Kelly Clarkson said:
I love that I can show my kids that I can be a great wife, a great mom and still be me, chasing dreams and sacrificing some dreams and all. I’m not giving up on dreams, just making new ones.
That’s my thoughts.
“I’m showing my daughter and my son and our kids that you can do both and achieve great things.” Kelly Clarkson makes an honest admission about