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Ok, I am probably going to get myself into hot water on this one.  Hi, my name is Ted, and I am a compulsive joker.  I just can’t help myself most of the time.  I find this world to be a funny place and complete proof that God has a sense of humor.  Unfortunately, not everyone has the same sense of humor as me and it has gotten me in trouble a time or two (gross understatement…).  I really do try to limit, the more offensive and harsh things I find funny from coming out of my mouth but I am not always successful.  I really do not do it to be mean, I just see so much humor in the world and love to share those observations.  I am often the subject of my own jokes as, believe me, I do some stupid shit and love to laugh at myself when I do.


All of that being said; I recognize that there is a place, time, and audience appropriate for jokes and also for not joking.  I am not going to address the authors’ comments on Presidents Trump’s remarks and try to cast them off as just jokes, even though they may be.  As the President, he has a responsibility greater than mine to know when and how it is appropriate to joke.  However, as a fellow jokester, I do have to say that there are a lot of people out there that just need to lighten up.  Death, racism, illness, handicaps, abuse, rape, and bigotry are not funny; however, I can honestly say I have heard jokes that made me laugh on each of these subjects.  I’ll bet if you are being honest so have you.  Let’s get this straight, if you tell a joke about cancer to a person you know has cancer or someone who has a family member fighting it you are an Asshole.  But that does not mean that there are no funny jokes about cancer (again, right time and place…).


Here is my life motto and it has served me well: “Never assign to malice, what can be explained by misunderstanding, ignorance, or stupidity.”  The definition of Malice is: the purposeful intention or desire to do evil or ill will.  I think one of the biggest problems today is that people are so quick to assign motives to people that are just not there.  Nobody walks this earth, having exactly the same life experiences as you.  Therefore, nobody will know the triggers you have that will keep you from finding “a joke” funny or offensive.  So maybe what you can do is next time you hear something that offends you start out with this thought in mind.  Maybe, just maybe, the person saying the “offensive” thing is just making a lame attempt at a joke.  Maybe they are ignorant of your life situation and how this “joke” affects you.  Maybe they are not out to commit evil against you.  I think you will find this world is a better place to live in if you take that attitude.  I find that there is actually very little malice in this world.


But, those are just my thoughts…


I would love to hear yours,



Men Need to Stop Telling Women to “Take a Joke”

Design by Perri Tomkiewicz I take jokes very seriously. That’s because I love jokes. I’ve always loved jokes. If I could, I would replace just about every statue of a Confederate General with one of Mel Brooks. Or, Gilda Radner. Or Moms Mabley.




About the Author

Ted is the proud husband of Jaelin (see above) and the father of 3 grown children (2 boys & a girl). He was raised by a single mother who had 5 sisters, so women have always been important in his life. As the husband of a Midwife, the father of a sassy daughter, the nephew to several aunts, and the son of a successful mother, he has a respect and appreciation for women that is part of his foundational being. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Operations Management and has worked in executive/management positions in fortune 500 companies for the last 30+ years