As a midwife with an on-call lifestyle, sleep is often elusive. I’m used to being called out at all hours, sometimes after only a few hours of sleep, to assist women in labor. In those moments, the adrenaline kicks in, and I get the energy to keep going. But there are days when I return home utterly drained, and despite how much I long to sleep, I can’t. It’s as if my body has forgotten how to relax, and when I do manage to fall asleep, I often wake up feeling just as tired. Through my years of practice, I’ve learned that while sleep is critical, rest is just as necessary—sometimes even more so.
For women, particularly those who are pregnant or new mothers, the demands of life can make true rest feel impossible. I’ve worked with countless women who tell me that no matter how much sleep they get, they still feel exhausted. This is why I emphasize the importance of recognizing that sleep and rest are not the same thing, and both are vital for our well-being.
Understanding the Difference Between Sleep and Rest
Sleep is a biological necessity. It allows our bodies to repair and recharge, supporting everything from cognitive function to emotional resilience. Without proper sleep, we’re not ourselves. I often see this with new mothers—exhausted from caring for a newborn and the constant interruptions in their sleep. I remind them that the exhaustion they feel is real, and it’s more than just the lack of sleep; it’s the absence of deep rest.
Rest, on the other hand, is about more than just closing your eyes. It’s about allowing your mind, body, and spirit to slow down and rejuvenate. Rest is the space where we breathe, reflect, and let go of the pressures of life. This often comes in the form of small, intentional breaks throughout my day. One of my favorite forms of rest is when my husband, Ted, scrubs my head. I know it sounds simple, but it’s profoundly restorative. In those moments, I’m not just relaxing physically—my mind slows down, and I feel a deep sense of peace. It’s like hitting the reset button on my energy levels.
I encourage my clients to explore this concept of rest, particularly those who are pregnant or navigating postpartum recovery. Many women believe they’re failing if they can’t sleep for eight hours straight, but rest can take many forms, and it doesn’t always involve lying down.
The Struggles of Sleep and Rest During Pregnancy
Pregnancy brings with it a host of changes, both physical and emotional. Many of my clients complain about difficulty sleeping, whether it’s due to discomfort, anxiety, or the sheer anticipation of motherhood. The truth is that sleep disturbances are normal during pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean rest has to be elusive.
When I work with pregnant women, I emphasize the importance of purposeful rest. Getting caught up in the demands of preparing for a baby is easy, but I encourage my clients to take intentional breaks. This can be as simple as sitting in a quiet room for a few minutes, practicing deep breathing, or engaging in activities that bring them joy. For some women, creative forms of rest, like knitting, journaling, or painting, provide a sense of calm. For others, spending time in nature or just sitting outside and listening to the birds can be deeply restorative.
These moments of rest are crucial, not just for the body but for the mind. When we take the time to rest, we’re better equipped to handle the demands of pregnancy and the transition into motherhood.
Rest During Labor: The Power of Relaxation
Labor is one of the most intense experiences a woman can have, both physically and emotionally. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and one of the things I’ve learned as a midwife is the incredible power of rest during labor. When labor isn’t progressing, I’ll often encourage the mother to take a break, to rest—not necessarily to sleep, but to let her body and mind relax.
I’ve seen labor stall for hours, only to pick up again once the mother takes some time to rest. In Hypnobirthing, a practice I’ve taught for years, we focus on relaxation as a key labor component. When the body is relaxed, the muscles work more efficiently, and labor can progress more smoothly. I’ve had clients tell me that our relaxation techniques helped them get through labor more easily than they ever imagined.
Rest during labor isn’t always about taking a nap—it’s about allowing the body to conserve energy and prepare for the hard work ahead. I’ve seen firsthand how rest can transform labor, making it more productive and less exhausting for the mother.
Postpartum Recovery: Why Rest is Critical
The postpartum period is often called the “fourth trimester,” a time of immense physical and emotional recovery. New mothers are expected to care for their newborns while also healing from childbirth, adjusting to life with a baby, and managing the pressures of everyday life. Sleep is often fragmented, and many women struggle with feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm.
This is where rest becomes essential. Even when sleep is hard to come by, rest is always possible. I encourage my clients to find small moments of rest throughout the day—whether sitting quietly while breastfeeding, taking a few deep breaths during a diaper change, or asking a partner or family member to watch the baby while they take a break. These moments of rest allow the body and mind to recover, even when sleep is in short supply.
I also remind my clients that rest isn’t just about physical recovery—it’s about emotional and mental well-being. The postpartum period can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and taking time to rest, reflect, and recharge is critical for managing the ups and downs.
Spiritual Rest: Finding Peace in the Quiet
For me, rest isn’t just about physical relaxation—it’s also about spiritual renewal. One of my favorite ways to rest is through quiet prayer. After a long day, taking a moment to connect with God brings me a sense of peace that nothing else can. I’ve always believed that God speaks to us in quiet moments, and in those moments of stillness, I find clarity and comfort.
I encourage my clients to explore spiritual rest as well, whether through prayer, meditation or simply sitting in nature. There’s something deeply restorative about connecting with something greater than ourselves, and I’ve seen how this type of rest can help women navigate the challenges of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood.
Rest as Self-Care: A Holistic Approach
Rest is essential to self-care, but it’s often the first thing we sacrifice when life gets busy. As women, we’re often taught to prioritize others over ourselves, but the truth is, we can’t pour from an empty cup. Rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.
In my life, I’ve learned that rest isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about giving myself permission to pause, reflect, and recharge. Whether it’s sitting quietly with an iced tea (I love my iced tea! 😊), taking a walk in nature, or spending time with loved ones, I’ve found that these moments of rest sustain me.
I also encourage my clients to make rest a priority. This doesn’t mean you have to carve out hours of your day—it can be as simple as taking a few minutes to breathe deeply, stretch, or sit quietly. Rest can take many forms, and it’s about finding what works for you.
Sleep and Rest: A Balanced Approach
Sleep and rest are two sides of the same coin and are essential for our health and well-being. By recognizing the importance, we can be more intentional about how we recharge our minds, bodies, and spirits. Sleep alone isn’t enough to keep us going rest is equally important, and it’s something we can cultivate in our daily lives.
For women, particularly those navigating the demands of motherhood, rest is often the missing piece of the puzzle. It is easy to get caught up in the belief that sleep is the only way to recharge, but rest, whether through creative activities, spiritual practices, or simply taking a break, can be just as rejuvenating.
By embracing both sleep and rest, we can find balance in our lives, improve our well-being, and be our best selves for those we love.
Final Thoughts: Rest is a Radical Act of Self-Care
In a world that constantly demands more of us, rest is a radical act of self-care. It’s about taking back control of our well-being and recognizing that we deserve to be cared for just as much as we care for others. Rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.
So, I encourage you to find moments of rest throughout your day. Whether it’s through creative expression, spiritual practices, or simply taking a break from the demands of life, rest is essential for your health, happiness, and ability to thrive. Sleep is important, but rest—true, intentional rest—is what will sustain you in the long run.
— Stay Strong, Jaelin —
Additional Reading:
- How rest and relaxation became an art – BBC –https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20201207-how-rest-and-relaxation-became-an-art
- Why We Need to Stop Conflating Sleep With Rest – Well and Good – https://www.wellandgood.com/rest-vs-sleep-difference/
- Sleep versus rest: The effect of rest on our bodies – Bupa Healthlink –https://www.bupa.com.au/healthlink/mental-health-wellbeing/sleep/sleep-vs-rest
- Rest vs. Sleep: Know the Difference for Whole Health – Adventhealth – https://www.adventhealth.com/blog/rest-vs-sleep-know-difference-whole-health
About the Author:
Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP, is a deeply passionate and highly skilled Certified Nurse Midwife, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, and the owner of Holistic Heritage Homebirth in Houston, Texas. With over a decade of experience, Jaelin has had the privilege of helping several hundred women welcome their babies into the world. In addition to her advanced practice licensure training, she has additional advanced training in twin and breech births, making her one of only a few with these skills in her area. Jaelin approaches every birth with expertise, compassion, and a deep respect for the birthing process. Jaelin is finishing her doctorate and looking forward to being Dr. Jaelin in early 2025.
Jaelin’s journey into midwifery began with a profound love for supporting women through the incredible experience of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Since 2010, she has been dedicated to walking alongside families during these transformative moments, offering guidance, support, and care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. She is a big believer in informed consent and ensures clients are given the best evidence-based information to make the best decisions for themselves and their families.
Married to her high school sweetheart Ted (aka Chef Ted) since 1984, Jaelin is the proud mother of three grown children and the delighted grandmother of one amazing granddaughter. When she’s not assisting in births, Jaelin finds joy in going to the movies with her husband, quilting, and cherishing time with her family. Known by the other midwives in her practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) affectionately as the “Birth Hog,” she brings an unmatched dedication and enthusiasm to her work—no one loves birth quite like she does.
Find out more about Jaelin’s Homebirth Practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) in Houston, TX
