Gratitude. It’s a word we hear so often that it sometimes feels hollow. But let me tell you, as someone who has stood beside hundreds of women during one of the most emotional roller coasters of their lives—pregnancy and birth—I’ve seen firsthand how gratitude can be a powerful tool for navigating life’s ups and downs.
No, I’m not a psychologist or a mental health professional. My expertise lies in midwifery, guiding women and families through the incredible (and sometimes overwhelming) process of bringing a new life into the world. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s this: gratitude isn’t just a warm, fuzzy feeling. It’s a mindset that can transform how we experience even the most challenging moments.
As a midwife, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside women during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. This time is often equal parts joy and exhaustion, exhilaration and anxiety. Some women face immense struggles, whether physical, emotional, or situational. Yet, I’ve noticed something remarkable. The women who seem to navigate these challenges with the most resilience aren’t necessarily the ones with the smoothest pregnancies or the most supportive circumstances. They’re the ones who find a way to focus on the blessings in their lives, no matter how small. They’re the ones who, even amid uncertainty, can say, “I’m grateful for this baby, for this moment, for this journey.”
On a personal level, gratitude has been my life’s cornerstone. When I take a moment to reflect on the things I’m thankful for, I can’t help but smile. I think of my husband, Ted, my partner through thick and thin, whose humor and steadiness keep our family grounded. I think of my three children—AJ, Chaz, and Bridget—who have brought their unique light into my life. Then there’s my granddaughter, Evelynn, whose smiles are pure magic and whose presence reminds me daily of the beauty in life’s cycles. I’m grateful for my extended family, the Sunday dinners, the laughter, and the shared traditions.
And, of course, I’m endlessly grateful for my career and the incredible clients who trust me to be part of their most intimate and transformative moments. There is nothing quite like holding a newborn baby and seeing the joy (and sometimes relief!) on a mother’s face. Each birth reminds me that beauty and love persist even in life’s hardest moments.
Gratitude doesn’t erase struggles, of course. It doesn’t magically solve sleepless nights, financial worries, or the fear of the unknown. But it does seem to offer a kind of emotional buoyancy—a way to stay afloat even when the waters get rough. And it’s not just anecdotal. Science backs this up. Researchers have found that practicing gratitude can have profound effects on mental health, from reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression to improving relationships and even physical health.
In this article, we’ll explore what gratitude really is, how it impacts our brains and bodies, and how you can incorporate it into your daily life for a brighter, more resilient mindset. Whether you’re navigating the chaos of parenting, weathering a difficult season, or simply looking to bring more positivity into your life, gratitude can transform how you feel and how you approach the world around you.
What is Gratitude?
At its core, gratitude is recognizing and appreciating the good in our lives. It’s not about ignoring hardships or pretending everything is perfect—finding value and meaning in the positives, no matter how big or small. Gratitude can be as simple as savoring a morning cup of coffee (or your beverage of choice…), feeling the warmth of a loved one’s hug, or marveling at a beautiful sunset. It’s about noticing the good already there and allowing yourself to feel thankful for it.
Gratitude isn’t a denial of life’s challenges. Instead, it’s a shift in focus—a deliberate decision to look for the blessings that often coexist with our struggles. You don’t have to wait for a life-changing event to feel grateful; sometimes, it’s about appreciating the everyday moments that bring joy and comfort. The smell of fresh rain, a kind word from a stranger, or a child’s laughter can all be reminders of life’s simple yet profound beauty.
In my career, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing gratitude in its rawest, purest form. It’s the mother who, despite a grueling and exhausting labor, holds her baby for the first time and whispers, “Thank you.” It’s the father who, overwhelmed by emotion, tears up at the sound of his child’s first cry. It’s the couple who, after navigating the ups and downs of a challenging pregnancy, exchange a glance full of unspoken appreciation for the miracle they’ve created together.
These moments are deeply human and profoundly moving. They remind me that gratitude isn’t about achieving perfection or having a life free from struggles—it’s about recognizing the beauty alongside the messiness. Birth, after all, is rarely picture-perfect. It’s raw, emotional, and sometimes chaotic but also breathtakingly beautiful. The gratitude I see in these moments is a testament to the human spirit’s ability to find light even in the most intense and vulnerable moments.
Gratitude isn’t just about monumental life events. It’s in the little things, too. It’s the thankfulness for a partner who holds your hand when you need strength, for a friend who shows up just when you need them, or for the quiet moments of peace that offer a brief respite from life’s chaos. Gratitude is a practice of presence—of grounding yourself in the here and now and acknowledging the good that surrounds you, however small or fleeting it may be.
When I think about gratitude in my own life, it’s often tied to these small, everyday moments. It’s the laughter at our family dinners, the unexpected hug from my granddaughter Evelynn, and the quiet joy of a shared home-cooked dinner with Ted after a long day. It’s in my clients’ trust in me to be part of their most life-altering moments and the pride I feel watching my children grow into incredible, resilient adults. These aren’t grand gestures or life-altering events; they’re the quiet constants that remind me how much I have to be thankful for.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the hard parts of life. It’s about allowing yourself to see the good there, too. It’s not always easy—especially during challenging times—but it’s a practice worth cultivating. When we focus on gratitude, we’re not just changing our perspective but actively inviting more joy, resilience, and connection into our lives.
The Science Behind Gratitude
So, what makes gratitude such a powerful force? It turns out our brains are hardwired to thrive on it. When we practice gratitude, we activate the brain’s reward system, releasing feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. These neurotransmitters are essential for regulating mood, reducing stress, and promoting happiness and well-being. Gratitude is like a natural “mood booster” with no side effects.
But the effects of gratitude go far beyond a temporary uplift. Regularly practicing gratitude changes the way our brains process information. By consciously focusing on the positives in our lives, we train our minds to notice and amplify the good rather than zeroing in on the negatives. This mental shift, known as cognitive reframing, helps us develop a more optimistic outlook, improving our emotional resilience.
Interestingly, gratitude doesn’t just work on our minds; it has tangible effects on our physical health. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can lower stress-related inflammation in the body, strengthen the immune system, and even improve heart health. It can also lead to better sleep quality, as people who focus on gratitude before bed tend to fall asleep faster and wake up feeling more rested.
One fascinating study examined the impact of keeping a daily gratitude journal. Participants who wrote down three things they were grateful for each day experienced noticeable improvements in mood, energy levels, and overall well-being after just a few weeks. Another study found that expressing gratitude strengthened social bonds by fostering feelings of connection, trust, and appreciation. When we thank someone or acknowledge their impact on our lives, we deepen our relationships and create a positive feedback loop that benefits both parties.
Gratitude also has the power to reshape how we respond to challenges. We build mental resilience by focusing on what we’re thankful for, even during difficult times. This doesn’t mean ignoring hardships—it means acknowledging them while also recognizing the good that persists. For instance, when life feels overwhelming, gratitude can help us find solace in small but meaningful moments, like a kind gesture from a friend or the comfort of a supportive family.
Perhaps one of the most beautiful aspects of gratitude is its contagious nature. When we express gratitude, we’re not just benefiting ourselves but inspiring those around us. A heartfelt “thank you,” or a simple acknowledgment of someone’s efforts can spark joy in them, creating a ripple effect of positivity that extends far beyond the initial moment.
Gratitude is not just an abstract concept—it’s a scientifically validated tool for improving mental, emotional, and physical health. And the best part? It’s something we can all cultivate, starting today, in simple yet profoundly impactful ways.
Why Gratitude Matters in Challenging Times
Life is full of challenges, and no one is immune to them. Whether it’s navigating a tough pregnancy, enduring a painful loss, or simply trying to balance the relentless demands of everyday life, we all encounter moments that test our strength and resilience. Gratitude doesn’t magically erase those challenges, but it offers a powerful tool to reframe them, helping us find meaning and perspective even in the most challenging times.
I’ve had the privilege of standing alongside women during some of the most joyful and, at times, heartbreaking moments of their lives. I’ve seen how gratitude can transform even the most difficult experiences. For instance, I’ve watched a mother endure a long and grueling labor only to hold her baby for the first time and whisper through tears of exhaustion, “I’m so grateful you’re here.” That raw, unfiltered gratitude shines brighter than any hardship.
There’s also the gratitude expressed in the small but significant ways families support one another. Despite their fatigue, I’ve seen partners who bring endless cups of water, rub aching backs, and offer words of encouragement during labor. I’ve watched extended family members step in to care for older children or prepare meals; their quiet acts of service met with heartfelt thanks.
Gratitude doesn’t negate pain or struggle but is a counterbalance. It reminds us that even amid the chaos, there are moments of grace. A mother facing an unexpected complication might feel fear and uncertainty, but she can also feel gratitude for the skilled hands of her care team or the reassuring presence of a loved one by her side. A family grieving a loss might feel the weight of their sorrow yet find solace in the support and love they receive from friends and community.
This isn’t about pretending everything is okay when it’s not. Gratitude is not denial. It’s about acknowledging the hard truths of life while also recognizing the good that exists alongside them. It’s finding beauty in the brokenness, strength in vulnerability, and hope in adversity.
During challenging times, gratitude can be a lifeline. Research shows that gratitude helps us build emotional resilience, allowing us to adapt and recover more effectively from stress and trauma. By shifting our focus to what we still have rather than what we’ve lost, gratitude fosters a sense of abundance, even in scarcity.
Practicing gratitude during hard times doesn’t have to be grand or profound. It can be as simple as noticing the sunrise on a day when everything else feels heavy. It can be the relief of hearing a friend’s voice on the other end of the phone or the comfort of a child’s laughter breaking through the silence. Gratitude lives in these small, quiet moments, offering light even when the darkness feels overwhelming.
For me, gratitude is a daily practice, especially during tough seasons. When I’m overwhelmed, I remind myself of the blessings in my life: my loving husband, my incredible children, my amazing granddaughter, and the profound privilege of being trusted by families to be part of their birth journey. Reflecting on these things doesn’t diminish my challenges—it gives me the strength to face them.
Gratitude matters most in challenging times because it reminds us of our capacity for hope. It doesn’t fix everything, but it gives us the courage to keep going, the perspective to see the good amid the bad, and the heart to believe that better days are ahead. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
How to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Life
If you’re new to practicing gratitude, don’t worry—it’s simpler than you might think. Gratitude is not about pretending life is perfect; it’s about recognizing and appreciating the meaningful moments, both big and small, that enrich your day. With some intentionality, you can build habits that make gratitude a natural and transformative part of your life. Here’s how:
- Keep a Gratitude Journal:
Dedicate a few minutes daily to write down three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be grand or life-changing. Perhaps it’s the soothing sound of rain, the smile of a stranger, or the relief of sitting down after a busy day. For many, writing helps solidify these moments in their mind and trains them to notice more of them as they occur. Over time, this simple practice can help shift your perspective, even during challenging times. - Express Gratitude to Others:
Gratitude isn’t just a personal practice—it’s also a way to strengthen relationships. Taking a moment to acknowledge the kindness of others can have a profound effect on you and them. Whether writing a heartfelt note, saying thank you in person, or sending a quick text of appreciation, these gestures create deeper connections and foster goodwill. Expressing gratitude to someone else often enhances your sense of happiness and fulfillment. This habit is one I am personally working on myself. (By the way, I am grateful to all of you for reading and commenting on my blog posts!) - Practice Mindful Gratitude:
Life can be overwhelming, and stress has a way of narrowing our focus to only what’s going wrong. Practicing mindful gratitude involves pausing in those moments to reflect on the positives that coexist with the challenges. For example, while juggling a busy schedule, you might take a moment to feel grateful for the strength and capability that allows you to get through it. This practice doesn’t deny the complex parts of life; it simply reminds us that they’re not the whole picture. - Create a Gratitude Ritual:
Building gratitude into your daily routine can make it an effortless habit. This new habit could be as simple as taking a moment before bed to reflect on the best part of your day or starting your mornings with a quiet acknowledgment of something you’re looking forward to. Gratitude rituals are a way of grounding yourself and setting a positive tone for the day or night ahead. - Involve Your Community:
Gratitude can become even more powerful when shared with others. For example, I’ve heard some families create a “gratitude jar” where everyone writes something they’re thankful for throughout the week. Reading these notes together can be a heartwarming reminder of the joys you share as a group. Similarly, workplaces or friend groups can benefit from sharing moments of appreciation, building a sense of connection and positivity. - Embrace Visual Reminders:
Visual cues can serve as powerful nudges to practice gratitude. Create a gratitude board with pictures, quotes, or mementos that remind you what you’re thankful for. Place it somewhere you’ll see regularly, like your bedroom or office, to inspire a moment of reflection throughout the day. I find placing photos of your loved ones on your desk can give you that visual reminder of something you are genuinely grateful for. - Practice Gratitude During Difficult Moments:
It might seem counterintuitive, but some of the most profound experiences of gratitude come during life’s challenges. For example, while enduring a difficult time, you might feel gratitude for the support of friends or the inner strength you didn’t know you had. This perspective doesn’t erase the struggle, but it can bring moments of peace and resilience. - Take Gratitude Outdoors:
Nature has a unique way of inspiring gratitude. Whether it’s feeling the sun on your skin, marveling at a beautiful flower, or simply listening to the birds, being outside helps you reconnect with the world and appreciate its wonders. Try incorporating a gratitude walk into your week, using the time to reflect on things you’re thankful for.
Gratitude is a skill that grows with practice. At first, it might feel like an effort to pause and reflect, but over time, it becomes second nature. As you cultivate this mindset, you’ll likely notice a ripple effect—gratitude spilling into your interactions, softening your outlook, and creating more moments of joy. Remember, gratitude isn’t about ignoring life’s struggles but allowing the light to shine, even on the hard days.
Final Thoughts: Gratitude as a Lifelong Practice
Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good buzzword or a fleeting moment of saying “thanks.” It’s a transformative practice, a mindset, and, for many, a lifeline during life’s toughest moments. It’s about seeing the light even when the shadows feel overwhelming. It’s about embracing the imperfect, the messy, and the ordinary and finding joy and meaning within them.
I’ve been privileged to witness the power of gratitude up close. I’ve seen mothers hold their babies for the first time after exhausting labors, their eyes brimming with tears of awe and appreciation. I’ve watched families express thanks for each other, even during moments of uncertainty and stress. These moments remind me that gratitude doesn’t erase life’s challenges but helps us navigate them with grace and strength.
In my own life, gratitude has been an anchor. From the unwavering support of my husband to the joy of raising my three incredible children and now cherishing my beautiful granddaughter, I’ve learned that life’s greatest blessings are often found in the people we love. My career as a midwife is another source of profound gratitude—I’m endlessly thankful for the families who trust me to guide them through one of life’s most sacred journeys. These experiences shape me daily, reminding me to focus on what truly matters.
But gratitude isn’t reserved for life’s monumental moments. It’s equally powerful in the small, everyday things—the warmth of the sun on your face, the laughter of a child, or the quiet satisfaction of completing a challenging task. These moments, though fleeting, are the threads that weave the fabric of a meaningful life.
Moving Forward: Embracing Gratitude Every Day
No matter where you are in life, it’s never too late to make gratitude a part of your journey. Start small. Begin by noticing one thing each day that brings you joy or peace, and allow yourself to feel truly thankful for it. Over time, those small moments will accumulate, and you’ll find yourself looking for the good without even trying.
Let gratitude be your guide when times are tough. When challenges arise—and they always will—pause to reflect on the remaining blessings. Gratitude won’t magically erase the pain, but it can remind you that light still exists even in the darkest moments.
As you move forward, consider how gratitude can ripple outward. By expressing appreciation for others, you strengthen relationships and create a circle of positivity that lifts everyone involved. By cultivating a mindset of gratitude, you inspire those around you to do the same.
Gratitude Isn’t About Perfection
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is this: gratitude doesn’t require a perfect life. You don’t need every piece of your puzzle to fit together flawlessly to be thankful. In fact, gratitude often shines brightest in the imperfect, the messy, and the unexpected.
Life will never be without its challenges, but gratitude offers a way to navigate them with resilience and hope. It’s a practice that opens your heart, shifts your perspective, and allows you to see beauty even in chaos.
You’ve got this. Wherever you are, whatever you’re facing, there’s something to be grateful for—and the more you embrace that truth, the more your life will transform. You can create a mindset that sees abundance rather than scarcity, joy rather than despair, and connection rather than isolation.
So, take a deep breath. Start small. Stay consistent. And remember: gratitude isn’t about having everything; it’s about appreciating the gifts you already hold.
Because at the end of the day, gratitude doesn’t just make life better—it makes life meaningful. 💕
💕
— Stay Strong! Jaelin —
Additional Reading:
- The Little Book of Gratitude: Create a life of happiness and wellbeing by giving thanks
- The Gratitude Effect: The Science, Power, and Real Results of Appreciation: Transforming the Brain, Shaping Emotions, and Increasing Overall Well-Being
- The Neuroscience Of Gratitude: Why Self Help Has It All Wrong: Rewire Your Brain With A Science Backed Gratitude Practice In 5 Minutes A Day And … And Happiness
- The Neuroscience of Gratitude and Effects on the Brain – PositivePsychology.com
Note: Full disclosure: I earn a small (very small) commission on any links in the article that take you to Amazon.
Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP, is a deeply passionate and highly skilled Certified Nurse Midwife, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, and the owner of Holistic Heritage Homebirth in Houston, Texas. With over a decade of experience, Jaelin has had the privilege of helping several hundred women welcome their babies into the world. In addition to her advanced practice licensure training, she has additional advanced training in twin and breech births, making her one of only a few with these skills in her area. Jaelin approaches every birth with expertise, compassion, and a deep respect for the birthing process. Jaelin is finishing her doctorate and looking forward to being Dr. Jaelin in early 2025.
Jaelin’s journey into midwifery began with a profound love for supporting women through the incredible experience of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Since 2010, she has been dedicated to walking alongside families during these transformative moments, offering guidance, support, and care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. She is a big believer in informed consent and ensures clients are given the best evidence-based information to make the best decisions for themselves and their families.
Married to her high school sweetheart Ted (aka Chef Ted) since 1984, Jaelin is the proud mother of three grown children and the delighted grandmother of one amazing granddaughter. When she’s not assisting in births, Jaelin finds joy in going to the movies with her husband, quilting, and cherishing time with her family. Known by the other midwives in her practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) affectionately as the “Birth Hog,” she brings an unmatched dedication and enthusiasm to her work—no one loves birth quite like she does.
Find out more about Jaelin’s Homebirth Practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) in Houston, TX