Motherhood is a whirlwind, a dance of emotions, responsibilities, and fleeting moments that slip through our fingers like sand. As a midwife with years of guiding mothers through birth, a mother who has raised her children, a grandmother watching the next generation grow, and a wife who has navigated life’s ups and downs alongside my husband, Ted, I’ve come to treasure mindfulness as my compass in this journey. It’s more than just being present; it’s about embracing an attitude of gratitude for the small, often overlooked moments, which becomes a beacon of light during the challenging times we all face.
This article is crafted with love for you, the young mom or expectant mom, who might find yourself caught in the storm of life’s relentless demands. Whether you’re juggling the chaos of a toddler’s tantrum, the exhaustion of sleepless nights, or the anticipation of welcoming a new life, I’m here to share how mindfulness can be your sanctuary, your strength, and your guide to transform this journey into one of profound peace and joy. Let’s delve into the essence of mindfulness, exploring how it can anchor you amidst the beautiful chaos of motherhood, helping you to savor the journey, one mindful moment at a time.
In this piece, we’ll uncover why mindfulness is not just beneficial but essential in motherhood, how an attitude of gratitude can shift your perspective, and provide you with practical tips tailored for the busy life of a mom. We’ll discuss overcoming overwhelming feelings, creating meaningful connections with your child, and how these practices can enhance your family’s well-being. So, let’s begin this exploration together, understanding that each step towards mindfulness is a step towards a more fulfilling motherhood experience.
The Power of Mindfulness in Motherhood
In the relentless pace of daily life, where the to-do lists seem endless, and the demands of motherhood can feel like a never-ending conveyor belt, it’s all too easy to miss the small joys that pepper our days. These are the moments that, in the grand scheme, might seem insignificant but are truly the threads that weave the tapestry of our lives with our children. Imagine the first giggle of your baby, a sound so pure and infectious it can lift the heaviest of hearts. Or the way your toddler’s eyes light up with recognition and love when they catch sight of you, a look that speaks volumes of the bond you share. And let’s not forget those quiet, serene moments, perhaps in the dim light of early morning, where you watch your child sleep, their peaceful face a reminder of the innocence and trust they place in you.
Mindfulness, in its essence, is the practice of pausing amidst this whirlwind. It teaches us to see and truly appreciate these fleeting moments, grounding us firmly in the now. When my children were little, I remember being told by older, wiser mothers to cherish these times, for they pass in the blink of an eye. And they were right. As a grandmother, I now see the same truth with my granddaughter. Mindfulness isn’t just about being present; it’s about actively engaging with the present, shifting our focus from the daunting list of chores, appointments, and responsibilities to the beauty that exists in the here and now.
This shift in focus is especially crucial when life feels like it’s too much to handle. When the weight of motherhood presses down, mindfulness acts as a buoy, keeping us afloat. It’s during these times that the practice becomes not just beneficial but vital. By mindfully engaging with the present, we’re not denying the chaos or the challenges; instead, we’re choosing to find moments of peace within them. This approach has helped me through many tough days, reminding me of the joy in simplicity, the love in the mundane, and the profound connection in the everyday.
So, for the young or expectant mom feeling overwhelmed, let mindfulness be your gentle reminder to pause, breathe, and truly see the magic in the small, everyday interactions with your child. In these moments, we find our strength, joy, and peace, making the journey of motherhood not just bearable but beautifully enriching.
Why Gratitude Matters
Gratitude sits at the very core of mindfulness, especially for us moms. When you find yourself knee-deep in the daily grind of diapers, dishes, and deadlines, being thankful might seem as distant as a quiet moment to yourself. Yet, here’s where the magic of gratitude truly shines; it can transform your perspective, turning the mundane into the miraculous.
When I was raising my children, there were days when the chaos seemed insurmountable. But I learned that by focusing on gratitude, even for the smallest things, like the warmth of my child’s tiny hand nestled in mine or the infectious sound of their laughter, the weight of those challenging times felt lighter. It was as if gratitude acted like a mental reset button, reframing my view from overwhelm to appreciation.
This gratitude practice doesn’t dismiss the reality of the hard work and sleepless nights; instead, it highlights the silver linings on even the cloudiest days. In our decision to prioritize time over material wealth, Ted and I found immense gratitude in our togetherness, simple life, and the memories we were creating. This gratitude became our shield against the pressures of modern life, a reminder that amidst the chaos, there was always something to be thankful for.
For you, the young or expectant mom, embracing gratitude can be your sanctuary. It’s about recognizing the beauty in the chaos, the love in the exhaustion, and the growth in the challenges. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to find something, anything, to be grateful for. It could be the way your baby’s eyes follow you around the room, the first time they say ‘mama,’ or even the quiet after they’ve finally drifted to sleep. Each of these moments, when viewed through the lens of gratitude, becomes a treasure, lightening your load and enriching your journey through motherhood. Remember, gratitude isn’t just about feeling thankful; it’s about actively seeking out those moments of joy, turning them into anchors that keep you grounded, no matter how stormy the seas of motherhood might get.
Practical Tips for Mindful Motherhood
As we delve into the practical side of mindfulness in motherhood, remember that these are not just tips but lifelines designed to weave mindfulness seamlessly into the fabric of your daily life, helping you manage the chaos and find joy and peace within it. Here’s how you can start:
1. Start Your Day with Gratitude: Before the whirlwind of the day sweeps you away, take a quiet moment for yourself. Start by listing three things you’re grateful for to set a foundation of positivity. It might be something as simple as the comfort of your bed after a good night’s sleep, the first sip of coffee (or, in my case, unsweet iced tea) that refreshes you, or the peaceful breathing of your sleeping child. This practice isn’t just about acknowledging what’s good; it’s about priming your mind to look for the good throughout the day, making you more resilient to motherhood’s inevitable stresses.
2. Mindful Breathing Breaks: Amid the chaos, when the cries, the to-do lists, and the unexpected spills threaten to overwhelm, take a mindful breathing break. Use the 4-7-8 method: inhale deeply for four counts, hold that breath for seven, and exhale slowly for eight. This technique can be your secret weapon, available anytime, anywhere. Whether during a grocery store meltdown or at home during a hectic morning, these breaths can reset your stress levels, bringing you back to calm composure.
3. Engage Fully with Your Child: When you’re with your child, whether it’s during playtime or feeding, make it a practice to be fully present. Notice how your child’s face lights up with curiosity; listen intently to their babbling or laughter, and feel the warmth of their little body against yours. This engagement deepens your bond and transforms routine care into joyful, shared experiences. It’s a reminder that amidst the tasks, the true essence of motherhood is in these connections, reducing the feeling of being overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work.
4. The Art of the Pause: Frustration is a familiar companion in motherhood. When it starts to rise, practice pausing. Before reacting to a spilled juice or a tantrum, take a deep breath, count to ten, or step away for a brief moment if possible. This pause, this small act of mindfulness, allows you to respond with patience rather than react with irritation. It’s about creating a peaceful environment for both your child and yourself, teaching both of you the power of calm in the face of chaos.
5. Mindful Chores: Even the most mundane tasks can become meditative with the right mindset. When washing dishes, focus on the sensation of the warm water, the rhythmic sound of scrubbing, and the motion of your hands. This practice transforms a chore into a practice of mindfulness, offering a brief respite from the mental clutter of motherhood. In these moments, you find peace, a small oasis of calm in your day.
6. Gratitude Journaling: Keeping a gratitude journal can be transformative. Each evening, jot down moments of gratitude, no matter how small. It could be the unexpected hug from your toddler or how your older child helped with a task. Reflecting on these entries, especially on tough days, lifts your spirits. It’s like collecting little treasures of joy, which, when revisited, remind you of the beauty in your life, countering feelings of stress or sadness.
7. Create a Mindful Space: Carve out a small corner in your home as a ‘mindful space’. It doesn’t need to be fancy; a cozy chair, a soft lamp, and perhaps a potted plant can make it special. Here, retreat for a few minutes to meditate, to breathe, or simply to be. This space becomes a physical reminder to pause, to center yourself, providing a tangible break from the day’s demands.
8. Community and Connection: Sharing this journey of mindfulness with other moms is invaluable. Whether through local meetups or online forums, connecting with others who understand the unique challenges and joys of motherhood offers support, shared wisdom, and a sense of camaraderie. It’s comforting to know you’re not alone, and sometimes, just hearing another mom’s story can provide the perspective shift or encouragement you need. Together, you grow in your practice, reminding each other of the importance of mindfulness and the strength found in community.
By integrating these practices into your daily life, you’re not just surviving motherhood; you’re thriving in it, finding moments of peace, joy, and connection in the beautiful journey of raising your children.
Overcoming the Overwhelm
When life feels spiraling out of control, with the endless cycle of feedings, diaper changes, and the emotional rollercoaster of raising little humans, remember that mindfulness and gratitude are your steadfast allies. They don’t magically erase the challenges that come with motherhood—the sleepless nights, the worry over milestones, or the balancing act of personal time versus family time—but they do provide a different lens, a softer focus through which to view them. By consciously focusing on what you’re thankful for, you’re not dismissing the hard parts of this journey; instead, you’re opting to weave joy into the fabric of your daily life.
Consider the small victories: the first time your baby sleeps through the night, the way your toddler proudly shows you their latest drawing or even the simple act of everyone in the family is healthy. These are the threads of gratitude that, when woven together, create a tapestry of positivity, helping to lighten the load of the more challenging moments.
As a young or expectant mom, the sensation of being on a rollercoaster without brakes can be all too real. The unpredictability of motherhood, with its ups and downs and sudden turns from laughter to tears, can leave you breathless and, sometimes, a bit scared. But with mindfulness, you transform from a passenger into a driver. You steer your experience with intention, gratitude, and a grounded presence. This approach isn’t just about surviving the tough times; it’s about thriving through them, enriching every moment, and turning your motherhood journey into a profound connection and joy.
Mindfulness becomes the gentle hand on the wheel, gracefully guiding you through the chaos. It teaches you to pause when the world feels like it’s moving too fast, to breathe deeply when the air seems thin, and to find the quiet in the storm. When your toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, mindfulness helps you to see beyond the immediate chaos to the underlying needs of your child, responding with calm and understanding rather than frustration.
Gratitude, on the other hand, is like the fuel that keeps your journey going. It’s acknowledging the love surrounding you, the growth you witness in your child, and the personal strength you discover within yourself. On days when the house is a mess, the laundry is piled high, and you feel like you’re failing at this mom thing, gratitude reminds you of the laughter shared, the milestones reached, and the love that fills your home, shifting your focus from what’s undone to what’s been beautifully done.
This practice of mindfulness and gratitude doesn’t negate the hard work, the sacrifices, or the moments of doubt. Instead, it enriches them, turning them into opportunities for growth and connection. It’s about finding the silver lining on even the cloudiest days, like when your baby’s fever finally breaks or you can carve out five minutes to sit and breathe. These practices ensure that even on the toughest days, you find moments of peace and beauty in the chaos, reinforcing your resilience and deepening your appreciation for the journey of motherhood.
Conclusion
Embracing mindfulness and gratitude as a mother is like finding a secret garden amid life’s busy streets. It’s a place where you can retreat, even if just mentally, to find peace, joy, and a renewed sense of purpose. Remember, being a mindful mama isn’t about perfection but presence. It’s about recognizing that every diaper change, every late-night feeding, and every tantrum is part of a larger, beautiful tapestry of your life with your child.
As you navigate your journey, let mindfulness be your compass. When the days are long and the nights are longer, when the laundry piles up and the toys are scattered, take a deep breath and find something to be grateful for. It might be how your child’s hair smells after a bath, the unexpected hug when you least expect it, or simply the fact that you have this time with them, something I’ve cherished deeply in my life.
Remember, young moms and expectant moms, you are doing an incredible job. The world of motherhood can be overwhelming, but with mindfulness, you’re equipping yourself with the tools to survive and thrive. You’re teaching your children by example to live in the moment, appreciate the small things, and face life’s challenges with a heart full of gratitude.
So, let’s make a pact to master mindfulness together. Start small, be patient with yourself, and watch as these moments of gratitude and presence transform your motherhood experience. Share your journey, your tips, and your triumphs with others. Let’s support each other in this beautiful, chaotic, and rewarding adventure of motherhood.
— Stay Strong! Jaelin —
Additional Reading
- The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Mindfulness for Dummies: 3rd Edition by Shamash Alidina
- Practicing Mindfulness: 75 Essential Meditations to Reduce Stress, Improve Mental Health, and Find Peace in the Everyday by Matthew Sockolov
- How mindfulness can become a mainstream wellness tool – rollingout.com
- 10 reasons to practice mindfulness meditation – msn.com
Note: Full disclosure: SHEis Online earns a small (very small) commission on any links in the article that take you to Amazon.
About the Author:
Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP, is a deeply passionate and highly skilled Certified Nurse Midwife, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, and the owner of Holistic Heritage Homebirth in Houston, Texas. With over a decade of experience, Jaelin has had the privilege of helping several hundred women welcome their babies into the world. In addition to her advanced practice licensure training, she has additional advanced training in twin and breech births, making her one of only a few with these skills in her area. Jaelin approaches every birth with expertise, compassion, and a deep respect for the birthing process. Jaelin is finishing her doctorate and looking forward to being Dr. Jaelin in early 2025.
Jaelin’s journey into midwifery began with a profound love for supporting women through the incredible experience of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Since 2010, she has been dedicated to walking alongside families during these transformative moments, offering guidance, support, and care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. She is a big believer in informed consent and ensures clients are given the best evidence-based information to make the best decisions for themselves and their families.
Married to her high school sweetheart Ted (aka Chef Ted) since 1984, Jaelin is the proud mother of three grown children and the delighted grandmother of one amazing granddaughter. When she’s not assisting in births, Jaelin finds joy in going to the movies with her husband, quilting, and cherishing time with her family. Known by the other midwives in her practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) affectionately as the “Birth Hog,” she brings an unmatched dedication and enthusiasm to her work—no one loves birth quite like she does.
Find out more about Jaelin’s Homebirth Practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) in Houston, TX