We all know the standard list of birth control side effects: nausea, weight gain, mood swings, and the occasional rogue spotting session. But what about your sex drive? That’s the side effect no one seems to talk about—at least not until you start experiencing it firsthand.
For decades, women have been handed a prescription for hormonal birth control with little to no discussion of how it might impact their libido. The assumption? Preventing pregnancy is the priority; anything else is just a minor inconvenience. However, for many women, this “minor” issue becomes a major crisis in their relationships, self-confidence, and overall well-being.
I’ve had so many women tell me:
- “I love my partner, but I have no interest in sex anymore.”
- “I thought I had low libido, but then I stopped the pill, and suddenly I wanted sex again!”
- “I don’t even recognize myself—I used to have a high sex drive, and now I feel nothing.”
And yet, when they bring these concerns to their doctors, they’re often dismissed, told it’s all in their head or given another prescription—usually an antidepressant—to “fix” the problem.
Spoiler alert: It’s not in their heads, and layering on more medication without addressing the root cause is not the answer.
As a midwife, clients have come to me distraught over this issue. Some women feel broken, wondering what changed in them. Others struggle in their relationships, feeling guilty that they no longer have the same desire for intimacy. And in almost every case where we’ve worked together to transition off hormonal birth control, I’ve seen a dramatic shift. Within weeks or months, their libido returns, their mood lifts, and they finally feel like themselves again.
Yet, despite all of this, the impact of birth control on libido remains an open secret—one that women often only uncover after experiencing it firsthand.
And let’s be honest for a second: If men were asked to take a daily pill that made them feel sick, gain weight, experience mood swings, lose their libido, and—oh, yeah—it increased their risk of cancer, would they take it? Of course not. So why do we ask women to?
This article isn’t about fear-mongering or pushing a one-size-fits-all agenda. It’s about informed consent—giving you the knowledge that, frankly, you should have been given from the start.
I’ll break down exactly how hormonal birth control can mess with your sex drive, what you can do about it, and—most importantly—how to reclaim your libido if it’s been missing in action since you started the pill, got an IUD, or took that shot because you deserve to know what’s happening in your body.
The Science: How Birth Control Impacts Libido
By the time a woman realizes her libido has vanished, she’s often already deep into the frustrating cycle of wondering if it’s stress, a relationship issue, or just getting older. But in reality? The answer might be sitting right there on her nightstand—the little pill, patch, shot, or IUD that was supposed to give her freedom, not take something away.
Birth control works by overriding your natural hormones to prevent ovulation—but those same hormones also influence desire, arousal, and even the way you emotionally connect with your partner. When we shut down ovulation, we’re not just preventing pregnancy—we’re altering the entire hormonal symphony that fuels our sex drive.
Most doctors fail to mention this to women. Instead, they hand out prescriptions with a brief mention of side effects like nausea or weight gain while either downplaying or completely ignoring the impact on libido. Meanwhile, I’ve seen it firsthand in my clients—women who once had healthy, thriving sex lives suddenly feel like they’re running on empty, and they don’t know why.
Let’s break it down step by step—what birth control does to your hormones, why it might be tanking your desire, and what’s happening inside your body when that switch gets flipped.
1. The Testosterone Thief: Why Birth Control Lowers Desire
Testosterone might get all the credit as the “male” hormone, but women need it just as much—especially when it comes to libido. It’s the reason you sometimes get those “I need you NOW” moments.
But here’s the problem: Hormonal birth control can slash your free testosterone levels by up to 60%. That’s not just a little dip—it’s a full-on hormonal nosedive.
When testosterone levels drop, so does:
- Spontaneous desire (the kind where you actually want sex rather than feeling like it’s a chore).
- Sexual thoughts and fantasies (when was the last time you actually felt turned on?).
- That full-body “YES” feeling when your partner kisses or touches that special spot (suddenly, it’s just… meh).
The kicker? Some studies suggest that even after stopping birth control, some women’s testosterone levels never fully recover. That’s why some women don’t bounce back overnight when they ditch the pill—it can take months or even years for their natural hormones to recalibrate.
2. SHBG: The Hormonal Jail Keeper That Locks Up Your Libido
If testosterone is the gas pedal for the sex drive, SHBG (Sex Hormone-Binding Globulin) is the brake.
SHBG is a protein that binds to free testosterone, making it unavailable for your body to use. And guess what birth control does? It cranks up SHBG to sky-high levels.
One study found that women on birth control had SHBG levels four times higher than those who weren’t on it. And the worst part? For some women, SHBG stays elevated even after they stop birth control.
Translation: Your body doesn’t just bounce back immediately. It might take **months—or even years—**to fully reclaim your libido.
3. The Estrogen-Progestin Flatline: Why Your Body Feels “Meh”
Your body beautifully designs your natural hormone cycle. Estrogen and testosterone peak around ovulation, which is nature’s way of saying, “Hey, this is a great time for sex!”
But birth control? It shuts that whole process down.
Instead of experiencing natural hormonal ups and downs, your body remains stuck on a steady, flatline level of synthetic hormones. That means:
- No mid-cycle spike in estrogen to boost lubrication and make sex feel amazing.
- No testosterone surge to make you actually want it.
- Just a whole lot of hormonal meh.
For some women, this leads to a complete loss of sexual desire. Others might still want sex mentally, but physically, things just aren’t responding the same way.
4. Why Birth Control Can Make Sex Feel… Uncomfortable (or Even Painful)
Let’s talk about vaginal dryness for a second. It’s not the most glamorous topic, but so many women on hormonal birth control deal with it—and they’re rarely told why.
Here’s the deal: estrogen keeps vaginal tissue thick, elastic, and well-lubricated. When birth control messes with your natural estrogen levels, it can lead to:
- Thinning vaginal tissue (which can make sex feel more irritating).
- Less natural lubrication (which can make sex feel less pleasurable or even painful).
- Reduced blood flow to the clitoris and vaginal area, which can blunt sensation and make it harder to orgasm.
And let’s be honest: if sex starts feeling uncomfortable, it makes perfect sense that your body stops craving it. It’s a basic survival mechanism—your brain works to avoid things that cause pain or discomfort.
5. The Mood Connection: How Birth Control Blunts Attraction & Emotional Bonding
It’s not just your hormones—birth control can also mess with the way you feel about your partner.
Blunted Dopamine & Serotonin:
Birth control can lower dopamine and serotonin levels, which are directly tied to pleasure, reward, and emotional connection. This can lead to:
- Less excitement or anticipation for intimacy.
- Feeling emotionally “flat” or disconnected from your partner.
- Less satisfaction or enjoyment from sex—even when everything else seems “fine.”
Changes in Partner Attraction:
Believe it or not, research suggests that birth control may even change the type of partner you’re attracted to.
Some studies show that women on the pill are more likely to be drawn to men with lower testosterone and softer, more nurturing traits. Women who are not on birth control tend to be more attracted to higher-testosterone partners—the type often associated with stronger jawlines, deeper voices, and more dominant behavior.
Does this mean birth control is making you pick the “wrong” partner? Not necessarily. But some women report that after stopping the pill, their attraction to their partner changes. That’s wild, right?
6. The Oxytocin Effect: Less Bonding, Less Pleasure
Oxytocin, the famous “love hormone,” is released during orgasm, cuddling, and deep emotional connection. It helps us bond with our partners.
But hormonal birth control? It reduces oxytocin receptor sensitivity, meaning your body isn’t responding to bonding cues as usual.
This response could explain why some women feel emotionally disconnected or “less in love” while on birth control.
The Bottom Line: It’s Not You, It’s the Hormones
If your sex drive has taken a nosedive since starting birth control, you are not imagining it.
Hormonal contraception can affect:
- Testosterone levels (aka your natural desire booster).
- SHBG levels (locking away the little testosterone you have left).
- Estrogen balance (which affects arousal and lubrication).
- Dopamine and serotonin (which control pleasure and bonding).
- Oxytocin sensitivity (which impacts emotional connection).
Yet, when women bring this up, they’re often dismissed. That has to change.
So, what do you do if birth control is killing your sex drive?
Stay with me—next, we’re diving into which types of birth control are the biggest libido-killers, which options may be better, and how to get your sex drive back if it’s been missing in action.
Who’s Most at Risk? The Birth Control Methods Most Likely to Kill Your Libido
Not all hormonal birth control hits your sex drive the same way. Some types barely make a dent, while others can send your libido into a free fall. If you’ve been feeling like your desire has vanished, the kind of birth control you’re using might be the culprit.
Here’s a closer look at which methods are the worst offenders, how they affect your hormones, and why some women feel fine while others feel completely disconnected from their desires.
The Biggest Libido Killers: High-Dose Hormonal Birth Control
Some forms of birth control flood your system with synthetic hormones, shutting down your body’s natural hormone production and keeping everything at a steady, artificial level. These methods tend to be the most likely to mess with libido:
- Combination Birth Control Pills (The Classic)
The pill suppresses ovulation, drops testosterone levels, and increases SHBG (which binds up the testosterone you do have, making it unusable). For some women, this leads to a gradual decline in libido that they don’t even notice until they stop taking it and suddenly feel like themselves again.
- Depo-Provera (The Libido Graveyard)
The Depo shot delivers a massive dose of synthetic progestin every three months, shutting down ovulation entirely. It’s one of the biggest libido killers because it wipes out both estrogen and testosterone. Even worse? It can take up to a year for hormones to return to normal after stopping.
- Nexplanon (The Set-It-and-Forget-It, Until You Can’t)
This tiny implant releases a steady stream of progestin, which can suppress ovulation and keep testosterone levels low for years. Some women notice a slow decline in their libido over time, and it’s only when they remove the implant that they realize how much it affected them.
Moderate Offenders: Birth Control That Affects Some Women More Than Others
Not all hormonal birth control wipes out libido completely. Some methods allow ovulation to continue in some women, meaning hormone suppression isn’t as extreme. But they can still mess with testosterone and SHBG levels, so libido issues are still a possibility:
- Hormonal IUDs (Mirena, Kyleena, Skyla, Liletta)
The progestin in hormonal IUDs can cause vaginal dryness and lowered testosterone levels, but because they release lower doses of hormones than the pill, some women feel fine. Others, however, notice a gradual loss of desire over time.
- NuvaRing & The Patch
These methods deliver hormones through the skin or vaginal walls rather than through digestion like the pill. While that might make some side effects milder, they still suppress ovulation and increase SHBG levels, which can take a toll on libido over time.
Least Likely to Affect Libido: Non-Hormonal Options
If your birth control is killing your sex drive and you’re looking for alternatives, these options don’t interfere with your natural hormone production:
- The Copper IUD (Paragard)
It prevents pregnancy without hormones, so it won’t mess with your testosterone or estrogen levels. The main downside? It can make periods heavier.
- Fertility Awareness Methods (FAM)
Tracking your cycle and using natural signs of fertility to prevent pregnancy works—when done correctly. It takes effort and consistency, but it’s completely hormone-free.
- Barrier Methods (Condoms, Diaphragms, Cervical Caps)
Not the most convenient for some, but they don’t interfere with libido.
What If You’re Not Sure If Your Birth Control Is the Problem?
If you’re reading this and wondering, Could my birth control be doing this to me?—there’s a simple test:
Try switching to a non-hormonal method for a few months. If your libido comes back, there’s your answer.
For many women, quitting hormonal birth control brings a huge shift—desire returns, arousal improves, and they finally feel like themselves again. Others need more time to rebalance. But knowing the risks gives you the power to make the best choice for your body.
What Can You Do If Your Birth Control Is Killing Your Libido?
If you’re struggling with a low libido and suspect your birth control is to blame, don’t panic. You have options. Here’s how to start reclaiming your sex drive—without sacrificing your reproductive choices.
Step 1: Identify the Root of the Problem
Before making any major decisions, take a moment to evaluate what’s really going on. Birth control is a common culprit, but it’s not the only factor that can impact libido. Stress, relationship dynamics, fatigue, nutrient deficiencies, and hormonal imbalances beyond birth control all play a role.
To get a clearer picture, ask yourself:
- Did my libido drop suddenly after starting hormonal birth control?
- Do I feel emotionally or physically “blunted” since being on it?
- Have I noticed changes in lubrication, arousal, or orgasm intensity?
- Does my desire fluctuate depending on whether I’m on or off birth control?
If the answer to most of these is yes, your birth control could be a major player in this.
Step 2: Consider Switching Birth Control Methods
If you suspect hormonal birth control is affecting your sex drive, switching methods might be the easiest fix. Not all options affect libido the same way, and for some women, simply switching to a lower-hormone method can make a huge difference.
Options That May Be Easier on Libido:
- Lower-dose birth control pills – Some women do better on a pill with lower estrogen or progestin levels, though it’s not a guaranteed fix.
- Hormonal IUDs – These contain lower levels of hormones and, for some women, don’t suppress ovulation entirely. That means testosterone may not take as much of a hit.
- Non-hormonal options – If you’re open to it, switching to a copper IUD (Paragard) or barrier methods like condoms or diaphragms eliminates the hormonal influence altogether.
Trial Run: How to Test If Birth Control Is the Issue
If you’re not sure birth control is the culprit but suspect it might be, consider taking a break from hormonal contraception for three to six months. Switch to a non-hormonal method and pay close attention to how you feel.
Women who quit hormonal birth control often report a gradual but noticeable improvement in:
- Spontaneous sexual desire
- Sensitivity and pleasure during intimacy
- Vaginal lubrication and comfort
- Emotional connection and attraction to their partner
Step 3: Support Your Hormones for a Libido Comeback
If you’ve been on hormonal birth control for years, your body may need time to rebalance. Some women bounce back quickly, while others take months to fully restore their natural hormonal rhythm.
Here’s how to help your body recover faster:
Fuel Your Hormones with the Right Nutrients
Birth control can deplete essential vitamins and minerals that play a role in libido, mood, and overall hormonal balance. To replenish:
- Zinc & Magnesium – Help restore testosterone levels. Found in pumpkin seeds, nuts, and dark leafy greens.
- B Vitamins – Especially B6 and B12, which support hormone metabolism and neurotransmitter function.
- Omega-3 Fatty Acids – Reduce inflammation and support mood regulation. Found in fatty fish, flaxseeds, and walnuts.
- Vitamin D – A crucial player in hormone production. Get sunlight or take a high-quality supplement.
Get Your Blood Flowing (Literally & Figuratively)
Good circulation is key for sexual function. If you’ve been dealing with vaginal dryness, lack of sensation, or difficulty with arousal, boosting blood flow can help:
- Exercise – Regular movement increases testosterone and circulation, especially strength training and cardio.
- Pelvic Floor Workouts – Kegels and other exercises can help strengthen muscles that play a role in arousal and orgasm.
- Massage & Red Light Therapy – These can help improve blood flow to intimate areas, making sex feel better again.
Try Natural Libido-Boosting Supplements
Some women find that certain herbs and supplements help rekindle desire:
- Maca Root – A known adaptogen that supports libido and energy.
- Ashwagandha – Helps reduce stress and balance hormones.
- Tribulus Terrestris – Shown in some studies to boost sexual desire in women.
- L-Arginine – An amino acid that increases blood flow to intimate areas.
These aren’t magic pills, but can support your body as it regains hormonal balance.
Address the Emotional and Psychological Side of Libido
Sex drive isn’t just about hormones—it’s also about how you feel in your body, your relationship, and your emotional state.
- If birth control made you feel emotionally “flat” – Give yourself time to reconnect with your body and desires. Mindfulness, self-exploration, and intimate communication with your partner can help.
- If your attraction to your partner has shifted – This is more common than people think. Take time to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. Sometimes, it’s as simple as re-learning how to connect.
- If sex has been painful or uncomfortable – Give your body time to adjust. Use plenty of lubrication, explore gentle touch, and go at a pace that feels right.
Talk to a Provider Who Actually Listens
If you feel like your birth control is wrecking your sex drive and your doctor dismisses you, find a new doctor. Full stop.
A good provider will:
- Take your concerns seriously
- Help you explore alternative birth control options
- Support you in balancing your hormones if you’re transitioning off birth control
You shouldn’t have to fight to be heard about your own body.
Final Thoughts
For decades, women have been expected to endure the side effects of birth control as if it’s the price we must pay for bodily autonomy. We’ve been handed a prescription and told that the loss of our sex drive is either imaginary, irrelevant or just “one of those things.” But here’s the truth: your libido isn’t a luxury—it’s an essential part of your well-being.
Sexual desire isn’t just about wanting intimacy; it’s about feeling alive, connected, and in tune with your body. When birth control dulls that, it doesn’t just affect your sex life—it impacts your confidence, your energy, your relationships, and your overall sense of self. And yet, this critical aspect of health is rarely discussed in doctor’s offices, leaving countless women wondering, What’s wrong with me?
Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you.
The real problem is a system that has conditioned women to believe that their pleasure and hormonal balance are secondary concerns. A system that has failed to provide informed consent, brushing aside real experiences as “anecdotal” while dismissing the mounting research that says otherwise.
It’s time for that to change.
You deserve to know the risks. You deserve to have options. You deserve to feel like yourself.
So if your sex drive has disappeared, if you’ve felt emotionally flat, if you’ve lost that deep sense of desire you once had—pay attention. Listen to what your body is telling you. Advocate for yourself.
Because your libido isn’t gone; it’s just waiting for you to reclaim it.
— Stay Strong! Jaelin —
Additional Reading
- This Is Your Brain on Birth Control by Dr. Sarah E. Hill
- Vagina: A Re-education by Lynn Enright
- The Influence of Combined Oral Contraceptives on Female Sexual Desire: A Systematic Review – ResearchGate
- Hormonal Contraceptives, Female Sexual Dysfunction, and Managing Strategies: A Review – National Library of Medicine
Note: Full disclosure: SHEis Online earns a small (very small) commission on any links in the article that take you to Amazon.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject, let’s talk in the comments!
About the Author:
Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP, is a deeply passionate and highly skilled Certified Nurse Midwife, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, and the owner of Holistic Heritage Homebirth in Houston, Texas. With over a decade of experience, Jaelin has had the privilege of helping several hundred women welcome their babies into the world. In addition to her advanced practice licensure training, she has additional advanced training in twin and breech births, making her one of only a few with these skills in her area. Jaelin approaches every birth with expertise, compassion, and a deep respect for the birthing process. Jaelin is finishing her doctorate and looking forward to being Dr. Jaelin in early 2025.
Jaelin’s journey into midwifery began with a profound love for supporting women through the incredible experience of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Since 2010, she has been dedicated to walking alongside families during these transformative moments, offering guidance, support, and care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. She is a big believer in informed consent and ensures clients are given the best evidence-based information to make the best decisions for themselves and their families.
Married to her high school sweetheart Ted (aka Chef Ted) since 1984, Jaelin is the proud mother of three grown children and the delighted grandmother of one amazing granddaughter. When she’s not assisting in births, Jaelin finds joy in going to the movies with her husband, quilting, and cherishing time with her family. Known by the other midwives in her practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) affectionately as the “Birth Hog,” she brings an unmatched dedication and enthusiasm to her work—no one loves birth quite like she does.
Find out more about Jaelin’s Homebirth Practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) in Houston, TX