Somewhere along the way, society decided that new moms should look like they never had a baby. That stretch marks, loose skin, wider hips, and softer bellies are temporary inconveniences rather than visible proof of something extraordinary. But why? Why is the female body expected to erase all evidence of one of the most powerful, life-changing experiences it can go through?
From the moment a woman gives birth, the pressure starts—sometimes subtly, sometimes outright aggressively.
- “When are you getting your body back?”
- “Have you tried (insert latest diet or exercise trend)?”
- “Look at this celebrity—she had abs three weeks postpartum!”
For some, it comes wrapped in fake compliments—“Wow, you look great for just having a baby!”—as if looking “normal” again is the ultimate goal. For others, the pressure is relentless, coming from social media influencers, well-meaning but misguided family members, and even healthcare providers who emphasize weight loss over healing. It’s an unspoken expectation: erase the physical evidence of pregnancy as quickly as possible.
And for what? So society can keep pretending that motherhood doesn’t leave a mark? That the body should revert to some pre-pregnancy version of itself, as if growing, birthing, and nourishing a human is just a minor detour?
Here’s the truth: postpartum bodies are not broken. They do not need to be “fixed.” They need time, care, and respect.
Instead of pressuring women to “snap back,” we should be asking why that expectation even exists in the first place. Why is there a rush to erase what should be honored? It’s time to call out the toxic “snap-back” culture for what it is—unrealistic, harmful, and deeply rooted in misogyny—and start celebrating postpartum recovery as a journey, not a deadline.
What Happens to the Body Postpartum? (And Why It’s Normal!)
A postpartum body isn’t something to “fix.” It’s a body that has grown, stretched, carried, and delivered a human being. And that process—while miraculous—comes with changes that don’t just disappear overnight. In fact, some changes are permanent, and that’s not a flaw. That’s biology.
The idea that a body should “bounce back” after pregnancy ignores the very real and lasting effects of growing another human. These changes aren’t just normal—they’re expected.
1. Stretch Marks & Loose Skin
Your skin stretched to accommodate an entire person. That’s not a flaw—that’s how the human body adapts. Some women’s skin snaps back more easily than others, but for most, stretch marks and loose skin are a lasting part of the postpartum experience.
- Skin elasticity is largely genetic. No cream, oil, or magic potion will erase stretch marks entirely. They may fade, but they are permanent reminders of what your body did.
- Loose skin happens because the body expanded rapidly. It’s not a sign of being “out of shape”—it’s simply what skin does when stretched beyond its usual capacity.
2. Weight Retention: It’s Not Just “Baby Weight”
Many women hold onto extra weight for months (or even years) after giving birth. And guess what? That’s not a failure—it’s hormonal.
- The body intentionally retains fat stores postpartum to support breastfeeding and recovery. Evolutionarily, this fat storage was a survival mechanism.
- Sleep deprivation, stress, and hormone fluctuations make weight loss slower, even for women who eat well and exercise.
- The “baby weight” narrative is misleading—your body is healing, recalibrating, and prioritizing survival over aesthetics.
3. Diastasis Recti & Pelvic Floor Weakness
Your core and pelvic floor went through an extreme transformation. Even if you “feel fine,” your muscles need time and proper rehabilitation to regain strength.
- Diastasis Recti: This is when the abdominal muscles separate during pregnancy, leaving a gap down the center of your stomach. It’s common, and for some women, it never fully closes without targeted exercises or physical therapy.
- Pelvic Floor Weakness: Ever sneeze and pee a little? That’s not just a postpartum joke—it’s a sign that your pelvic floor needs rehab. Pregnancy and birth (vaginal or C-section) weaken these muscles, and without proper recovery, issues like incontinence and pelvic pain can persist.
4. Hormonal Shifts Affect Everything
Postpartum hormones impact everything—your metabolism, energy levels, mood, and even the way your body holds onto weight. Some women experience hair loss, night sweats, and unpredictable periods for months (or even years) after birth.
Pregnancy isn’t just a “temporary phase” your body goes through. It permanently changes how muscles, bones, and organs function. And instead of treating these changes as something to hide or “fix,” we should recognize them for what they are: proof of strength, resilience, and the incredible work a mother’s body has done.
Social Media vs. Reality: How We Got Here
Social media has turned postpartum into a performance. It’s not enough to survive sleep deprivation, navigate the endless cycle of feeding, and recover from the physical trauma of birth—you’re also expected to look amazing while doing it.
Scroll through Instagram, and you’ll see new moms with flat stomachs, toned arms, and dewy, glowing skin—just weeks after giving birth. Meanwhile, most real moms are living in oversized sweatpants, wondering if they’ll ever feel human again. The pressure to “bounce back” isn’t just coming from society anymore—it’s coming from a curated, filtered version of motherhood that’s been repackaged and sold to us as reality.
What We’re Comparing Ourselves To:
• That influencer with a perfect postpartum body? Lighting, angles, and Photoshop do wonders. Plus, we don’t see the behind-the-scenes dieting, exercise obsession, or the possible toll it’s taking on her physical and mental health.
• That celebrity who “snapped back” in six weeks? Personal trainers, nutritionists, chefs, and sometimes even surgical enhancements are at play. It’s not a fair comparison.
• That mom bragging about fitting into her pre-baby jeans? The number on the scale means nothing. Muscle loss, exhaustion, hormonal imbalances, and stress don’t show up in those before-and-after pictures.
What You Don’t See on Social Media:
• Postpartum bellies that still look pregnant for weeks—or even months. That’s not a failure; it’s how the body recovers.
• Stretch marks, loose skin, and changes that don’t magically fade overnight. Because that’s how real skin works.
• The tears, frustration, and moments of complete overwhelm. New motherhood is exhausting, and no amount of “clean eating” or gym time changes that.
The truth is, postpartum recovery isn’t a race, and it certainly isn’t always Instagram-worthy. It’s messy. It’s raw. And it looks different for every mom. The sooner we stop holding ourselves to impossible, edited standards, the sooner we can embrace the reality of healing, honoring our bodies, and redefining what postpartum strength actually looks like.
The Harmful Effects of ‘Snap-Back’ Culture
The pressure to “bounce back” isn’t just annoying—it’s deeply damaging. It shifts the focus away from healing, bonding, and adjusting to motherhood, forcing women to prioritize their appearance over their well-being. And for what? To meet an impossible standard that benefits no one except the diet and fitness industries profiting off women’s insecurities.
Here’s what this toxic “snap-back” culture is really doing to postpartum women:
1. Body Image Struggles: When Women Feel Like They’ve “Failed”
Pregnancy changes everything—your muscles, your metabolism, your skin, and even the way your clothes fit. But instead of celebrating these changes as the incredible proof of what a woman’s body can do, society treats them like something that needs to be erased as quickly as possible.
Many women internalize this messaging and start to believe that if they don’t “snap back,” they’ve somehow failed. This fuels:
• Frustration—because no matter how much effort they put in, they may never look exactly the same as before.
• Shame—because instead of feeling proud of what their bodies accomplished, they feel pressured to hide or “fix” it.
• Disconnection—because when women hate how they look, they’re less likely to engage in intimacy, self-care, or even activities they once loved.
2. Increased Risk of Postpartum Depression & Anxiety
New motherhood is already overwhelming—add in the pressure to “look good again,” and it can be crushing. Studies show that women who struggle with body image postpartum are more likely to experience symptoms of:
• Postpartum depression (PPD)—which can make it harder to bond with their baby, care for themselves, and feel joy in motherhood.
• Anxiety and obsessive thoughts—often fixated on their weight, appearance, and how others perceive them.
• Disordered eating tendencies—as some women turn to food restriction or extreme dieting in an attempt to “speed up” their postpartum weight loss.
Instead of supporting moms in their emotional and physical recovery, snap-back culture adds another layer of stress to an already intense period of life.
3. The Dangers of Extreme Dieting & Over-Exercising
Some women, desperate to meet societal expectations, push their bodies too hard, too soon. This can lead to:
• Calorie restriction—which is dangerous for both the mother and baby, especially if breastfeeding. Cutting calories too soon can decrease milk supply, cause fatigue, and even slow postpartum healing.
• Over-exercising—which increases the risk of injury, pelvic floor issues, and prolonged recovery time. The body needs rest and nourishment, not punishment.
• Ignoring actual postpartum health needs—because instead of focusing on things like pelvic floor rehabilitation, core strength, and mental well-being, women are bombarded with messaging that prioritizes weight loss over true recovery.
The Truth: A Mother’s Value Isn’t Measured by Her Dress Size
Somewhere along the way, society decided that a woman’s worth after birth is tied to how quickly she can erase the evidence of pregnancy. That’s insanity.
A mother’s value isn’t in how fast she loses baby weight. It’s in the love, strength, and resilience she brings to motherhood. It’s in the way she nurtures her child, rebuilds her confidence, and reclaims her body on her terms.
Snap-back culture is a lie. Postpartum bodies deserve respect, not unrealistic expectations. It’s time to shift the focus from shrinking bodies to celebrating the incredible work they’ve don.
What New Moms Actually Need
Instead of being bombarded with unrealistic expectations and pressure to “get their bodies back,” new moms need what truly supports their recovery—time, grace, and a culture that prioritizes their well-being over their waistlines. Here’s what postpartum women really need:
1. Time and Grace: Healing Is Not a Race
Every woman’s postpartum journey is different. Some bodies recover quickly, while others take longer to heal, and both are completely normal. The idea that women should “bounce back” in a few short weeks ignores the massive physical, hormonal, and emotional changes happening behind the scenes.
• The uterus takes about six weeks to shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size—but that doesn’t mean everything else heals in that timeframe.
• Ligaments, joints, and muscles stretched during pregnancy may take months (or even years) to regain strength.
• Sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the mental load of motherhood all impact how a woman feels—not just physically, but emotionally.
Women don’t need a deadline for recovery—they need permission to heal at their own pace, without judgment.
2. Support, Not Shame: Let’s Change the Conversation
Instead of asking, “When are you getting back in shape?” we should be asking:
• “How are you feeling?”
• “Are you getting enough rest?”
• “How can I support you?”
New mothers are already adjusting to an entirely new life, caring for a baby, and trying to recover. The last thing they need is pressure to “fix” a body that isn’t broken. Instead of shaming women into thinking they need to shrink, we should be lifting them up, validating their experiences, and reminding them that they are more than their dress size.
3. Health Over Aesthetics: Shift the Focus
Postpartum recovery should not be about fitting into pre-pregnancy jeans—it should be about feeling strong, nourished, and well-rested.
• Nutrition matters more than calorie restriction – New moms need fuel, not fad diets. Eating enough nutrient-dense foods supports healing, energy levels, and, for breastfeeding moms, milk production.
• Movement should feel good, not punishing – Walking, stretching, and gentle strength training (when ready) can be incredibly beneficial. But punishing workouts designed to “erase” pregnancy? That’s the wrong mindset.
• Mental and emotional well-being matter, too – Feeling good postpartum isn’t just about physical recovery. Sleep, stress management, and emotional support are just as important as physical health.
The goal isn’t to look like you never had a baby—it’s to feel healthy and strong in the body that did something incredible.
4. Realistic Expectations: Recovery Is a Process, Not a Performance
We need to reframe postpartum recovery as a journey—not a race, not a competition, and definitely not a performance for the outside world.
• Some women take months to feel like themselves again.
• Others take years.
• Both are normal.
Postpartum bodies are not “before and after” projects. They are living proof of the power, strength, and resilience of motherhood. Instead of rushing women to erase their journey, we should be celebrating the miracle their bodies just accomplished.
New moms don’t need pressure. They need patience, support, and the freedom to heal at their own pace—without guilt, without comparison, and without the expectation to “snap back.”
Final Thoughts: Rewriting the Narrative
Let’s be clear: postpartum bodies are not “before and after” projects. Women are not obligated to shrink themselves to make the world more comfortable. The expectation that mothers should erase all evidence of pregnancy is not just unrealistic—it’s damaging. It tells women that their value is tied to how quickly they can undo one of the most transformative experiences of their lives.
It’s time to rewrite the script.
So how do we change the narrative?
- By rejecting the pressure to “snap back” and embracing postpartum for what it really is—a time of healing, adjusting, and honoring the body that created life.
- By reminding new moms that their worth is not measured in pounds lost or stretch marks erased. A mother’s value is found in her strength, resilience, and love—not in the number on a scale or the size of her jeans.
- By uplifting each other and setting realistic expectations for the next generation of mothers. The more we normalize the realities of postpartum recovery, the less future moms will feel pressured to hide what is natural and normal.
Because the real glow-up after pregnancy isn’t about getting your old body back. It’s about stepping into your new body—stronger, wiser, and unapologetically you.
— Stay Strong! Jaelin —
Additional Reading
- Healing Your Body Naturally After Childbirth: The New Mom’s Guide to Navigating the Fourth Trimester by Dr. Jolene Brighten
- Strong Like a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood – By Kate Rope
- The Postnatal Depletion Cure: A Complete Guide to Rebuilding Your Health and Reclaiming Your Energy – By Dr. Oscar Serrallach
- 20 Things to Know About Your Postpartum Body – Parents
- The Many Phases of Your Post-Baby Body, Explained – Healthline
Note: Full disclosure: SHEis Online earns a small (very small) commission on any links in the article that take you to Amazon.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject, let’s talk in the comments!
About the Author:
Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP, is a deeply passionate and highly skilled Certified Nurse Midwife, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, and the owner of Holistic Heritage Homebirth in Houston, Texas. With over a decade of experience, Jaelin has had the privilege of helping several hundred women welcome their babies into the world. In addition to her advanced practice licensure training, she has additional advanced training in twin and breech births, making her one of only a few with these skills in her area. Jaelin approaches every birth with expertise, compassion, and a deep respect for the birthing process. Jaelin is finishing her doctorate and looking forward to being Dr. Jaelin in early 2025.
Jaelin’s journey into midwifery began with a profound love for supporting women through the incredible experience of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Since 2010, she has been dedicated to walking alongside families during these transformative moments, offering guidance, support, and care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. She is a big believer in informed consent and ensures clients are given the best evidence-based information to make the best decisions for themselves and their families.
Married to her high school sweetheart Ted (aka Chef Ted) since 1984, Jaelin is the proud mother of three grown children and the delighted grandmother of one amazing granddaughter. When she’s not assisting in births, Jaelin finds joy in going to the movies with her husband, quilting, and cherishing time with her family. Known by the other midwives in her practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) affectionately as the “Birth Hog,” she brings an unmatched dedication and enthusiasm to her work—no one loves birth quite like she does.
Find out more about Jaelin’s Homebirth Practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) in Houston, TX
Discover more from She Is...
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.