As someone who has talked to countless women about their health issues and who has helped more than 700 women bring their babies into the world, I’ve seen firsthand how concerns about vaginal changes after childbirth, aging, or menopause can weigh heavily on women. I often talk about it with my clients—there’s always that question, “Will everything go back to normal?” The truth is vaginal changes are natural, but they’re not always permanent. The elastic muscles of the vagina can stretch and return to their original shape, especially with the right care.
In this article, I want to dive deep into the myths and realities of vaginal changes, sharing both evidence-based facts and a compassionate perspective. After all, I’ve been through it myself as a 60-year-old woman who’s had three children and experienced some of the natural sagging that comes with age. I know how important it is to understand these changes and, more importantly, to feel empowered about how to address them. Let’s talk about what really happens and what you can do to stay healthy and confident.
Understanding Vaginal Changes: The Big Picture
Let’s start with the basics. The vagina is an incredibly resilient part of the body, and the muscles surrounding it, known as the pelvic floor muscles, are just as impressive. They support not only the vagina but also your bladder, uterus, and rectum. However, these muscles can weaken over time, whether from childbirth, aging, or even just the natural process of gravity. But here’s the good news: just because these muscles may weaken doesn’t mean they’re beyond help.
For many women, concerns about a “loose vagina” arise after childbirth. I’ve had countless clients ask me if they will be “too loose” for their partners, and unfortunately, this insecurity is often fueled by insensitive comments. One thing I always tell my clients is that birth doesn’t ruin your body—the body is made to stretch and return to its natural form. Yes, there are changes, but they don’t define you or your sexual satisfaction. And if your partner doesn’t understand that, well, that’s a whole other conversation.
Childbirth and Vaginal Changes
Let’s break this down further. During pregnancy and childbirth, the body undergoes significant changes. As the baby grows, the pelvic floor muscles are put under increasing pressure, and during a vaginal delivery, those muscles stretch to accommodate the birth. Afterward, many women notice that things feel slightly different “down there.” This is totally normal.
In my own experience as a mother, I gave birth to all three of my children naturally, and I was fortunate to have relatively easy and quick labors. But even then, I noticed some changes. My recovery was fairly straightforward, but it took time for everything to feel “normal” again. And that’s the key: time. The body is resilient, but it needs time to heal and adjust after such a monumental event.
In my practice, I often see women who are anxious about how they’ll “bounce back” after childbirth. This is where pelvic floor exercises like Kegels come in. I always reassure my clients that they don’t need to stress about these changes—there’s plenty they can do to help their body recover and regain strength. The muscles may feel different at first, but with the right approach, many women can strengthen their pelvic floor and restore elasticity.
Aging and Vaginal Health
As we age, everything starts to sag a little. Yes, even the vagina. I know this firsthand. While these changes are natural, they can sometimes feel discouraging, especially if you’re unprepared for them. Menopause brings its own set of challenges—lower estrogen levels can cause the vaginal lining to become drier and less elastic, which can affect not only how your vagina feels but also your sexual experience.
Many women in their 50s and 60s come to me concerned about vaginal dryness, discomfort during sex, or changes in sensation. These issues are real, but they’re not something we have to suffer through in silence. Whether it’s talking to your partner or seeking professional advice, there are solutions—from lubricants and moisturizers to pelvic floor exercises—that can make a significant difference.
I always tell my clients that, just like with childbirth, there are exercises and techniques to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and improve overall vaginal health. Kegels, squats, and vaginal cone exercises are incredibly effective. These are simple things that women of any age can incorporate into their routine to help maintain vaginal tone and support.
Emotional and Psychological Impact
It’s not just about the physical changes—there’s an emotional aspect, too. Vaginal changes, whether from childbirth or aging, can stir up insecurities. It’s not uncommon for women to worry that they’re no longer “good enough” for their partners. And I’ve heard some pretty heartbreaking stories over the years from women who have been made to feel less than because of a thoughtless comment from a partner and others. Unfortunately, I’ve even had requests for what’s called the “husband stitch” during vaginal repairs after birth—something I absolutely refuse to do because it plays into this toxic narrative that a woman’s body should be manipulated to please someone else.
This emotional aspect is where empathy and understanding really come into play. As a midwife and a woman who’s experienced these changes, I try to be as reassuring as possible. I always give my clients the facts: childbirth and aging are natural processes, and your body’s ability to stretch, recover, and regain strength is incredible. If a partner can’t appreciate that, maybe the problem isn’t with your body but with the relationship dynamic.
Treatment and Care: What You Can Do
Now, let’s talk about what you can actually do to take care of your vaginal health. For me, it always comes down to strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. These muscles play a huge role in how your vagina feels and functions, and they can be easily strengthened with the right exercises.
Kegels
The most common exercise I recommend to women is the Kegel exercise. You might already know how to do them, but just in case, here’s a quick rundown: Kegels involve contracting the muscles you would use to stop the flow of urine. Hold the contraction for a few seconds, then release. Doing Kegels regularly can help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and improve both vaginal tone and bladder control.
Squats and Vaginal Cones
In addition to Kegels, squats are another great way to strengthen your pelvic floor. They’re easy to do at home, and they provide a full-body workout that also supports vaginal health. For women looking for a bit more targeted support, I sometimes recommend vaginal cones—small weights that you insert into the vagina and then hold in place by contracting your pelvic floor muscles.
I find that, incorporating these exercises into your daily routine can bring great results.
The Importance of Pelvic Floor Health
Your pelvic floor is responsible for much more than you might think. It’s not just about sex or how your vagina feels—it plays a role in bladder control, bowel function, and overall core stability. When the pelvic floor is weak, it can lead to problems like urinary incontinence (something I deal with personally) or even pelvic organ prolapse, where organs like the bladder or uterus shift out of place.
I’ve seen women go from feeling insecure about their bodies to feeling empowered simply by working on their pelvic floor health. Strengthening these muscles can give you back a sense of control, whether you’re post-childbirth, going through menopause, or just wanting to maintain good health.
Busting Myths About Vaginal Changes
There are plenty of myths out there about vaginal changes, especially when it comes to sex. Some women believe that penetrative sex will permanently change the shape of their vagina, but that’s just not true. The vagina is elastic, much like how the mouth stretches when you yawn but returns to its normal shape afterward. Sex doesn’t cause your vagina to become “loose” over time, and each body is different when it comes to how things feel. No matter how “Big” he thinks he is 😊!
I’ve heard women express concerns about feeling different during sex with a new partner, and this is normal, too. Your body changes over time due to things like weight gain, illness, or even just getting older, and each sexual experience can feel different. But none of these changes mean your vagina is less “good” than it was before.
Embracing Your Body’s Changes
At the end of the day, the most important thing I want women to know is this: your body is incredible. It has the ability to grow a baby, give birth, and bounce back. It can weather the changes of aging and adapt in ways that might surprise you. Yes, there will be changes, but those changes are a sign of the amazing things your body has done and continues to do.
Vaginal changes after childbirth, aging, or menopause are just a part of
Conclusion
Vaginal changes are a natural part of life, whether they’re caused by childbirth, aging, or menopause. What’s important to remember is that your body is resilient and capable of adapting. With the right exercises and an understanding of your body’s needs, you can strengthen your pelvic floor and feel confident about your vaginal health at any stage of life. Don’t let insecurity or myths dictate how you feel about your body—empower yourself with knowledge, take care of your pelvic health, and embrace the changes that come with life’s experiences.
As a Certified Nurse Midwife and Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, I’ve worked with hundreds of women who share these concerns, and I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. Whether it’s through Kegels, squats, or simply taking the time to understand your body, there are ways to take control of your vaginal health and feel confident again. Your body has carried you through so much—honor it, take care of it, and know that it’s more than enough.
— Stay Strong! Jaelin —
Additional Reading
Here are some additional resources to help you continue learning about pelvic floor health, vaginal changes, and women’s health in general:
- “Pelvic Floor Exercises for Women: A Complete Guide” – Mayo Clinic
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/womens-health/in-depth/pelvic-floor-exercises/art-20045283
A comprehensive guide on how to perform Kegel exercises and why they are beneficial for your pelvic floor. - “Vaginal Health: Understanding Changes After Childbirth” – American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)
https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/recovering-from-childbirth
Learn more about how your body recovers after childbirth and the changes you might experience in your vaginal health. - “Menopause and Vaginal Health: What to Expect” – Cleveland Clinic
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21812-menopause-and-vaginal-health
An in-depth look at how menopause affects vaginal health and the options available for managing these changes. - “Pelvic Floor Disorders: Symptoms and Treatments” – National Institute on Aging
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/pelvic-floor-disorders
A resource to better understand pelvic floor disorders, including prolapse and incontinence, and how to treat them. - “Vaginal Prolapse: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment” – Johns Hopkins Medicine
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/vaginal-prolapse
Learn more about vaginal prolapse, a condition that occurs when the pelvic floor muscles weaken, and how it can be treated.
About the Author:
Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP, is a deeply passionate and highly skilled Certified Nurse Midwife, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, and the owner of Holistic Heritage Homebirth in Houston, Texas. With over a decade of experience, Jaelin has had the privilege of helping several hundred women welcome their babies into the world. In addition to her advanced practice licensure training, she has additional advanced training in twin and breech births, making her one of only a few with these skills in her area. Jaelin approaches every birth with expertise, compassion, and a deep respect for the birthing process. Jaelin is finishing her doctorate and looking forward to being Dr. Jaelin in early 2025.
Jaelin’s journey into midwifery began with a profound love for supporting women through the incredible experience of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Since 2010, she has been dedicated to walking alongside families during these transformative moments, offering guidance, support, and care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. She is a big believer in informed consent and ensures clients are given the best evidence-based information to make the best decisions for themselves and their families.
Married to her high school sweetheart Ted (aka Chef Ted) since 1984, Jaelin is the proud mother of three grown children and the delighted grandmother of one amazing granddaughter. When she’s not assisting in births, Jaelin finds joy in going to the movies with her husband, quilting, and cherishing time with her family. Known by the other midwives in her practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) affectionately as the “Birth Hog,” she brings an unmatched dedication and enthusiasm to her work—no one loves birth quite like she does.
