As a Midwife, I’ve helped deliver several hundred babies, and let me say this out loud: not all babies are born cute. There. I said it. The truth that no one dares to whisper. And no, I’m not being mean. I love every baby I meet. I’m just telling it like it is: sometimes, those little bundles of joy don’t quite arrive looking like the Gerber model you hoped for.
Now, before anyone starts throwing baby blankets at me, let me add this: it’s okay. It’s more than OK. All babies are beautiful in the ways that matter most—worthy of unconditional love, endless kisses, and the deepest pride their parents can hold. But let’s be real for a second. Babies are coming out of a very tight space in a dramatic way, so it’s only natural that they might look a little… “unique” when they first arrive.
Let me start with my own story. My first two kids? AJ and Chaz? Perfect Gerber babies. You know the type—chubby cheeks, sparkling eyes, and so much adorableness that strangers would stop me in the grocery store to coo over them. Then came my third, my darling daughter Bridget. I was ready for baby perfection number three. Instead, I got a cabbage patch doll.
I say that with all the love in my heart—because I adore her—but she was not cute (in my opinion). Her face was all scrunched up, her complexion was questionable, and she made growling sounds like a tiny, confused dinosaur. My husband Ted, on the other hand, thought she was perfect. We still debate this to this day (and I was right, just saying). Thankfully, time was her friend because today, she is an absolute knockout—a total beauty inside and out.
But why does this happen? Why do some babies look like grumpy old men or tiny alien beings for the first few days? Well, let me give you the inside scoop from the delivery room.
The Birth Journey: Why Babies Look… Uh, “Well-Traveled”
Here’s the deal: birth is tough, y’all—on mom and baby. For hours (or sometimes days), your baby is navigating their way down the birth canal, which is not exactly a luxurious, spa-like experience. It’s more like a very tight squeeze combined with some vigorous head-squishing. The result? Babies look a little rough around the edges, and that’s normal!
- The Cone Head: If your baby’s head looks like it’s been shaped by a rolling pin, don’t panic. That happens when a baby’s soft skull bones overlap to help them squeeze through the pelvis. It’s biology, not a sign of bad luck. In a day or two, their head will round out just fine.
- Bruises and Swelling: Did you know babies can bruise during delivery? If you needed forceps or a vacuum to help deliver them, those little faces might arrive looking like they’ve had a rough night at Fight Club. Swollen eyes, puffy cheeks, and even a slight purple tint are all par for the course—and all temporary.
- The Smushed Face: After hours of being pressed against bones and muscles, it’s no surprise some babies come out looking flattened or “scrunchy.” Imagine sleeping face-down on a wrinkly pillow all night—that’s your baby after birth. Give it a little time, and those features will smooth right out.
- The Wrinkly, Old-Man Look: Babies born early (or very late) often arrive with wrinkly skin or a little peeling. Some even have a reddish or bluish hue that makes them look like they’re still figuring out how this “being born” thing works. Trust me, the color evens out, and the wrinkles fade.
- The Hairline Situation: Some babies are born with a full head of glorious hair, while others have patchy, uneven tufts that look like someone started shaving their head and gave up halfway. And then there are the bald ones, which I think are adorable, but some parents are shocked by their little cue ball.
Add in the occasional furrowed brow, perpetually surprised eyes, or ears that are folded like origami, and you’ve got a recipe for the “unique” first impression some babies make.
“But They’re Perfect to Me”
Here’s the beautiful thing, though: it doesn’t matter. Because when that baby is placed in your arms for the first time, you’re not looking at the funny cone head or the wrinkled forehead. You’re looking at your baby. The little human you’ve been waiting to meet for so long. And they’re perfect because they’re yours.
In my years as a midwife, I’ve seen every type of newborn you can imagine. Cone heads? Check. Angry little scowlers? Check. Babies with so much hair do they look like they’re wearing a wig? Check. Babies with no hair at all? Check, check, check. And you know what? Every single one of them was beautiful to me. Because babies are a miracle, they are messy and strange and sometimes look like aliens, but they are also pure and perfect and worthy of every ounce of love we can give.
As parents, our job isn’t to obsess over their looks—to love them fiercely, no matter what. And I promise you this: no matter how funny-looking they may be at birth, they will grow into themselves. One day, that wrinkly little bundle will flash you a smile that melts your heart. Or they’ll grow into a toddler who looks so cute in overalls that you’ll wonder why you ever worried.
Bridget is proof of that. Today, my cabbage patch baby is a total knockout—strong, beautiful, and full of life. Ted insists she was perfect from day one (he’s a softie like that), and I insist that time was her friend. (It was me, though. I was right!)
So, if you find yourself holding a baby who doesn’t quite look like the picture-perfect cherub you imagined, don’t worry. Give it time. Babies are like fine wine—they get better with age. But even if they don’t “grow into” society’s definition of cuteness (and they probably will), who cares? Looks are fleeting. Love is forever.
Every baby is beautiful because they are uniquely, perfectly yours.
And one day, you’ll look back at those funny baby pictures—the cone heads, scowls, and smooshed noses—and laugh. You’ll laugh because those “funny” faces remind you of a time when you held pure love in your arms, and it didn’t matter what they looked like. They were perfect because they were yours.
In case I didn’t mention it, Ted was wrong, and I was right… 💕
— Stay Strong!, Jaelin —
And just because I mentioned her a few times her is my beautiful daughter Bridget. She is amazing in every way!
Additional Reading:
- Is It Normal To Think Your Baby Isn’t Cute? Will That Change? – ParentsWonder
- 11 Parents Share the Moment They Realized Their Baby Was Ugly – Good Housekeeping
Jaelin Stickels, CNM, WHNP, is a deeply passionate and highly skilled Certified Nurse Midwife, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, and the owner of Holistic Heritage Homebirth in Houston, Texas. With over a decade of experience, Jaelin has had the privilege of helping several hundred women welcome their babies into the world. In addition to her advanced practice licensure training, she has additional advanced training in twin and breech births, making her one of only a few with these skills in her area. Jaelin approaches every birth with expertise, compassion, and a deep respect for the birthing process. Jaelin is finishing her doctorate and looking forward to being Dr. Jaelin in early 2025.
Jaelin’s journey into midwifery began with a profound love for supporting women through the incredible experience of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Since 2010, she has been dedicated to walking alongside families during these transformative moments, offering guidance, support, and care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. She is a big believer in informed consent and ensures clients are given the best evidence-based information to make the best decisions for themselves and their families.
Married to her high school sweetheart Ted (aka Chef Ted) since 1984, Jaelin is the proud mother of three grown children and the delighted grandmother of one amazing granddaughter. When she’s not assisting in births, Jaelin finds joy in going to the movies with her husband, quilting, and cherishing time with her family. Known by the other midwives in her practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) affectionately as the “Birth Hog,” she brings an unmatched dedication and enthusiasm to her work—no one loves birth quite like she does.
Find out more about Jaelin’s Homebirth Practice (Holistic Heritage Homebirth) in Houston, TX